Bruised but not broken

Sorry I've been away for so long people. Life has been going on with all its ups and downs. I missed my November recap, but better late then never. So much has gone on during this past month and a half; the trials of raising a toddler, the tribulations of raising a pre-teen, loss of a job, grieving for my beloved father and trying to just keep it all together. But as I sit here I can't possibly have a pity party. I'm watching my mentor in my head "Oprah" on Barbra Walters special. Listening to some of the amazing 'ordinary' extraordinary people that she has had on her show. Those who have fought way harder battles then I can ever imagine. So I sit here bruised, but not broken. Pondering and planning my next move.

The good thing is that I know what I really like and that is food! Everything about food; reading about it, watching cooking shows, talking about it and of course experiencing it. The hard part? What exactly that means for my next career choice. Do I go to culinary school for Pastry Arts or work my side business (Baby Bird Sweet Treats)? I'll take suggestions. So that is where I am right now. I intend to take a moment and be still in order to listen to that little voice in my head and see where she guides me.

Smooches,


What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Dare to dream?)

Who’s your worst enemy?

Are you your own worst enemy? Do you hold yourself back more than anyone else ever could? I think I might be my own worst enemy. I made a pretty darn cute ducky cake for a little girl’s first birthday party. I love it! I was so proud of myself and think it looks pretty great for my first time. I’m sure I’ll look back in 10 years and have all types of critiques about it, but overall Momma did good.

 (Don't mind the mess on the table)

(The happy client)

So what’s the problem you ask? A few people at my job saw the pictures and started gushing about how good it was and I definitely need to sell cakes, etc. So what did I do? Besides blush, internally I FREAKED OUT! Now this is what I want, this is why I started getting my business cards together, working on trade marking my company name etc. So why am I losing it? Affirmations are great; they are what keeps us trekking forward when we’re exhausted or disheartened. Well people I’m not sure why my blood pressure went through the roof, but I’m going to have to work it out. I’ll find some way to ignore that little voice in the back of my head that says you can’t do this, you’re going to fail. I won’t be my own worst enemy, after all part of this journey is to show my little girls that you have to go after your dreams. There are enough people who will try to knock you down, don’t beat them to the punch.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Keli

Brimming with Pride

This post has been a long time coming. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a dinner at the James Beard House. It was my first time attending a James Beard function, but it definitely won't be my last. My dear friend Anthony Dawodu was showing off his culinary skills on behalf of the hotel where he is Executive Chef, Caneel Bay. When he first let me know about this event I couldn't think of anywhere else I would rather be and was excited I was able to experience this accomplishment alongside his family.

The James Beard House is a nondescript building that you could walk by (I did) and not notice it was there. You would be totally unaware of all the goodness going on inside. In order to dine you must first walk through the kitchen and have the opportunity to talk to and see the chefs at work. The atmosphere was lovely as people mingled with their champagne and passed hors d' oeuvres. While they were all delish, my favorite was the Lobster Banana wonton with curry aioli. I'm not sure what made him combine those flavors, but ...just keep on creating! I had to remember I was in public and not sitting on my couch while eating them.

After the reception we made our way upstairs for dinner where each course was paired with wine...heyyyyyy (in my best Chyna voice). Each course out did the previous one and I was so proud that Tony was responsible for each wonderful creation. My friend that came with me said that his Roasted Strip Loin has ruined all other beef for her. She still talks about it and is wondering when is the next time he'll be on the mainland. One of the greatest things about his menu is that I tried items that I would normally pass over when going out to dinner. Not because I don't think they are interesting or because I haven't wanted to try them; it's just so easy to end up with ol' faithful. Quinoa now sits happily in my pantry waiting for me to get the nerve to cook it myself.

So Tony thank you for inviting me. I've always known that you are a wonderful chef and you did not disappoint in showing just how brilliant you are. Keep following your dreams!

Love ya,

Keli

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

A small slice of humble pie

I did not have any intentions on writing a post today, but while on a break from a conference I'm attending I ran into a mother pushing her daughter in a double stroller. My first thought was that the girl was a little big to be in the stroller, but whatever. The mother stopped me and asked me if I would be able to give a donation because her daughter is receiving cancer treatments and since she doesn't have insurance (public healthcare anyone) the medical bills are mounting. Being a New Yorker my gut reaction was "yeah, yeah you and everybody else need money." I stood and talked to her a moment and she was telling me about how the radiation treatments caused her daughter to lose 75% of her eyesight. So I'm softening, but I don't EVER have cash on me and if I do it is literally a couple of dollars. So I tell her I don't have any money, but since I'm about to stroll into Whole Foods (cash back) I might get some and will give it to her if I see her when I leave. She hands me a card with a handwritten web address in case I should want to donate money through the website she made for her daughter.

I walk into Whole Foods because y'all know that's my store and even if I don't buy anything I have to check out the goods. As I walk through the first aisle I can't get this lady out of my mind. All I could think of was that this woman was doing what she needed to do to take care of her family. I'm a Momma and I would humble myself in a minute to provide my girls with what they need. I wondered what it was like the first time she went out to ask for help. I would have been terrified, probably would feel guilty and embarrassed. But if your babies have to eat, you do what you have to. I make it half way through the first aisle when I come accross one of my favorite barbecue sauces 'Bone Suckin Sauce'. Hmmm...$4.50...I pay around this price all the time and although I'm not thrilled about it, I do. So I decide I can at least give this fellow Momma $5, hell I blow that on slathering barbecue sauce on my chicken! So after I take a quick look around Whole Foods, I run across the street to CVS because the train ride down to Baltimore gave me motion sicknesses; I don't want that experience on the ride back and I get some money. I head out and begin looking for my fellow Momma! I find her about a block away and I give her the money. I find  out her baby girl's name is Adrianne and that she is 7 years old. I let her know that I will say a prayer that Adrianne will get better and I wish her well.

When I get back to my room, I log onto the computer because...I'm a New Yorker and I want to see if I got duped or if this story is real. So I get out the handwritten card and log on to the site. I read the snippet about Adrianne's story and realize while looking at the pictures that the little girl in the stroller was Adrianne. I thought it was her little sister, but it was Adrianne! I would have never thought that that little girl was 7, but I guess when you are fighting for your life it takes its' toll on your body.  I was happy that I had done my teeny tiny part to help them out. I was upset with myself that I didn't say some encouraging words to her. I share the link below, not because I'm endorsing giving money to her, but so that you can pray for this family. Pray that this little girl will get better, that the drugs used to make her better don't destroy her body, that her Momma (Elyse) has the strength and determination to continue to do what's needed to care for her girls. Pray because nothing is stopping this from being you or me.

So, if I found out this was all a hoax would I feel like a dummy? Nope, I wouldn't be mad, I wouldn't change my mind if confronted with the same situation. As I sit here I think about my pastors sermon a few weeks ago talking about Lazareth. I can't help everyone who needs financial assistance, heck, even Bill Gates can't. But I can do my part when I see someone in need of help outside my door.

I hope I get to see Elyse again before I leave Baltimore. To see if today is a good day. Hopefully I can give her spirit the boost it needs to continue to do what Momma's and Daddy's do for their babies.

www.wix.com/elysejohnson/adriannesthread

What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Take care of your babies?)

Smooches,

Keli

September Recap

It’s been a very busy month people.  I’ve completed some goals, made progress toward others and am re-evaluating a few. First for my success’s! I’ve stopped biting my nails (again), I need a manicure or else I would put up a picture. I finished my first cake decorating class AND managed to make it to every class.

I’m making progress toward my weight loss goal, although I am dropping it by a pound to 136. I actually feel like I might be getting too skinny!  Life according to Wii Fit my ideal weight would be 136.9 lbs…really? So that leaves me with 2.5 pounds left. I have to be honest guys, I’m tired of dieting. I’ve been on this journey since June and it’s getting old, but there are a few things I’ve learned about my body. Number 1, it likes to hang out around 140 pounds, I don’t know why but to get from 143 to 140 has been a ridiculous struggle. I’ll go down a pound, gain ½ a pound, lose another few ounces, back up a half pound…ugh. Number 2, I have to exercise on a consistent basis (at least 4 times a week), no if and or buts. And number 3, it doesn’t matter how much weight I lose the proportions will NEVER be the same after those babies!

Now re-evaluation time; if you look at my goals over to the right you’ll notice that some of them conflict. For instance to maintain my weight and a healthier lifestyle I like to eat organic food as much as possible and fresh vegetables.  Those items usually come with a higher price tag so that conflicts with my goal of financial freedom.  Launching a side business also takes extra money so that conflicts with financial freedom.  And finally, in case you guys didn’t realize it, I’m a foodie.  I lovvvvvveeee food.  I watch Food Network’s ‘The Best Thing I Ever Ate’ with my phone close by so that I can save the names of restaurants in the tri-state area that they talk about with good eats. So obviously that can easily conflict with maintaining my weight and healthier lifestyle.

So what does that mean? Does it mean I give up? Nope, I just have to be more creative and work on balance to achieve my goals. It might take me longer, I might have some setbacks, but at least I have a vision.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Keli

Last Day of Decorating Class

Hello world. Yesterday was my last class in decorating basics and it was bitter sweet. We had a nice group of ladies in our class that were helpful (crap where is my spatula) and supportive (that really does look like a flower). Our instructor, Barbara, is a doll. Think of your third grade elementary school teacher (she really is a teacher) encouraging, patient and willing to go the extra mile. And did I mention patient? I was a mess yesterday.  I was running late because of the rain, I needed to sign up for the next class before all of the spaces were filled; I forgot that I needed dye and just a complete mess! Sometimes you have those days even when you think that you were totally prepared.

So for this class we learned how to make ribbon roses, which turned out to be extra difficult with the humidity yesterday.  The first one didn’t turn out that well, but with Barbara’s help I got the technique and a great compliment! “You turn that flower nail like a pro!” I probably grinned like a Cheshire cat. After the third flower between the humidity and the heat from my hand my icing started to melt.  I kept trying just so that I could work on the technique.

We spent a lot of time on flowers and also practiced handwriting on cakes. Now anyone that has seen my handwriting knows that y’all need to pray for me. My handwriting looks like I scribbled something down with my toes. So needless to say I had to work pretty hard to get it to look decent. I probably broke a sweat. I will definitely be using letter impressions if I ever need to write on a cake to help a sistah out.

After all of that we only had about a half hour to work on our final pieces.  I think it came out okay although I didn’t get to use all the techniques we’ve been learning. That would have been a bit too much on an 8 inch cake. Anyway, let me know what you think…yes you can judge now. Check out the inscription…I’m talking to you.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Keli

Wilton Decorating Basics Class - 3rd Class

Boy, has it been a while since I've posted. Sorry people, life was happening. I wanted to share with you what I learned in my third decorating class.  Flowers people!  We learned drop flowers, pom pom flowers, leaves, how to ice a cupcake so that it looks like a rose. I have a couple of examples below, I'm getting better eh?

Next week is our last class. We have to bring an iced cake and we will practice everything that we learned so far plus a few new things. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm also going to sign up for the next class fondant and gum paste. I'll be able to do all kinds of fancy stuff after that class.

On another note I participated in an online open house for the French Culinary Institute for Pastry Arts in NYC. It sounds wonderful; I think that I'll go for a tour this fall and see it up close and personal. If I fall in love I still wouldn't be able to go for at least year, but hopefully it will help me figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Smooches,

Keli

Wilton Decorating Basics Class

So, on my journey to figure out what I want to be when I grow up I decided to take a Wilton cake decorating class at AC Moore. The class has been a lot of fun so far. The first class was starting from scratch and I learned a lot of cool tips that you don't think of like these.

1. How to torte a cake.
2. How to level a cake.
3. The correct consistency for your icing to make flowers, pipe decorations and ice your cake.
4. How cornstarch and wax paper can help you fix imperfections

We practiced some basic piping skills and I made these (don't judge me)!

The second week of class we got to practice what we learned in week one and also work with some other tips to pipe designs on our cakes. I have to be honest that I don't like the Wilton buttercream recipe, only because I prefer to use butter in my icing and not vegetable shortening. Come on, which sounds more appetizing to you? My husband thought it was great though so SCORE! Also, I don't particularly care for imitiation flavorings and will definitely be making my way to William Sonoma or the like for pure almond extract. Yes, I know my icing won't be pure white and will have a slight tint to it, but I can live with that.

So since my class is right after work and I feign exhaustion, I made a boo boo in class and colored all of my icing yellow! I should have saved some of it to dye a different color so you can see more detail on my fish design, but you guys will get the point (again, don't judge)!

I can't wait until next week when we begin learning to make Pom poms and other floral decorations. I'll keep ya posted.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Take baby steps toward finding a new career)

Smooches,

Keli

Restaurant Review: Delicatessen

54 Prince Street
New York, NY 10079
(212) 226-0211
www.delicatessennyc.com


On Saturday we spent time with some friends in the city. All of a sudden I hear the Empire State of Mind in my head. I LOVE NYC! I just do and I think that now that we’ve been in NJ for 5 years this week I am longing for my NY. Anytime someone asks me where I’m from I always say New York (which is the truth), but then usually follow up with, but I live in New Jersey (sorry Jersey, no disrespect). There is something about the hustle and bustle, being able to find WHATEVER you want or need, the different culture and even the smells (although some are unpleasant). For some reason I feel like I can conquer the world whenever I’m in the city.

Anyway, I digress. So went in for brunch and to do some walking around in Soho. I don’t know what they did to the little bit of parking that they had in that area, but we couldn’t find a space anywhere and almost chose an illegal space. Thank you to the gentleman who told us that the cops just gave everyone on that street a ticket and…how you doin? Did I say I love New York City?

We went to this chic, trendy restaurant/lounge Delicatessen on the corner of Lafayette and Prince. It is great for hanging out with friends, your significant other, but young families? Not so much. Think meeting the girls’ ala Sex in the City! Going with a 16 month old and a 10 month old does not work since they do not have high chairs or booster seats. Thankfully the kids were nice to us and didn’t cry, scream or chuck a toy at anyone’s head. Luckily we were able to change the kid’s diapers in the lounge area that wasn’t being used since it was 2 in the afternoon.

The food wasn’t as tasty as I would have thought reading the menu. Since we eat with our eyes first I had high expectations. I ordered the Delicatessen scramble which is an omelet with smoked salmon and caramelized Vidalia onions. It came with home fries (too salty) and toast on the side. The dish was what I would expect that I could make at home, it needed some fresh herbs to take it to the next level. The price was reasonable for the dish as well as for the buttermilk pancakes. The buttermilk pancakes definitely met my expectations; they were light and fluffy. The citrus cream and raspberry compote were delish, who needs syrup? We ordered lemonade (don’t bother) that tasted like water with a little lemon squeezed in, and for $4!

The service was great. I was originally quoted 30 – 40 minutes since there are a few tables that can accommodate the positioning of two strollers, but the hostess ended up calling us after approximately 20 minutes. Our server was personable and attentive without being overbearing. Overall the feel of the restaurant was great, but I would probably try drinks and appetizers or dinner if I were to go again.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?
 
Smooches,
 
Keli

Staycation: Day 2

We had a great time on Friday. We did just enough to feel a sense of accomplishment, but not too much where you feel that you need an additional day off just to recover. We spent the day at http://www.alstedefarms.com/ so that we could pick some fresh fruit and get some fresh air.

The weather ended up being perfect and since we went on a Friday we beat the crowd. Of course the sacrifice for going on Friday is that we missed the opening of pumpkin patch (it opened on Saturday). But that’s okay; we have actually decided to go back with some friends because we had such a great time. If you decide to go here they have a hay ride that will take you to the different areas on the farm to pick your food. I would suggest that you take advantage of this and don’t use the wagon (free) that they offer unless you plan to buy a lot of heavy food. If you have a little one like us you can fold your stroller and bring it on the hayride as well.

We picked a few blackberries since there was only one row left to pick and also some raspberries. We intended to go to this farm in June to pick strawberries...yum, but never made it. The only apples that they had available to pick were Gala apples and they are delish! We skipped the peppers and eggplant since we don’t use those items that much when we cook, but they looked great. Our last stop on the farm was to pick peaches. They had humongous peaches and I think we got too many, but we couldn’t resist. So what does one do when they have too many peaches? Make peach cobbler!

I went to one of my favorite sites, Food Network, and decided to try Paula Deen’s recipe (see below). It was fabulous! If you decide to try this recipe I would only use 1 stick of butter, add another cup or two of peaches and reduce the milk to 1 cup. Let me know what you think.

Paula Deen's Peach Cobbler Recipe

We were supposed to visit the Crayola Factory after, but didn’t have enough time to get there and go through the exhibition. It ended up being for the best since 1, it gives us something to do another weekend and is not contingent on the weather and 2, I realized I was exhausted. All in all a great day with the family.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Keli

So Proud

Sorry I've been slacking for the last couple of days. I have had quite the crazy week with a house full of sick people. From pink eye, ear infections, sinus infection to God only knows what the big one has. I think I might be getting sick after holding on for so long. Anywho, I had to jump on for a moment to share the big ones first day of middle school.

I talked to her about her day and she mentioned that there is a new girl in the school district whose face is disfigured. She went on to say that some of her classmates were scared to sit next to her in one of the classes and were saying that she was an alien. (My heart broke for this little girl. I can only imagine what it's been like for her to be stared at and ostracized.) So what does my big girl do? Asks the girl to sit by her and stuck up for her. I was so proud that I gave her the biggest hug and thanked her. I told her that if she is a nice person, then be her friend. Unfortunately the teacher had all the kids change seats and sit in alphabetical order, but I look forward to hearing more about her new friendship. Hopefully, this means that she has learned not to prejudge people.

That's all for now people, I have a lot to update as soon as I have a spare moment.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Stand up for what is right?)

Smooches,

Keli

Day 1 of Staycation 2010!

I had the pleasure of spending the day with my family today and NOT be in the office. Woo hoo! Originally we were going to spend two days at the Marriott Times Square so we could enjoy everything that NYC has to offer, but honey we are scared of the bed bug situation so we’ll wait until the fall or winter. Still we ventured to the Central Park Zoo to do something that the big one and little one could both enjoy. Although it was quite hot it was the perfect sized zoo for us today.

NYC and the Central Park Zoo

Then we ventured off of to try a milkshake from a restaurant I saw featured on Food Networks ‘The Best Thing I Ever Ate’. Now anyone who knows me knows I LOVEEEEE to eat! I am a foodie from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. And that is why you’ll see number 3 of my short term goals is to lose weight! Anywho, it’s time for my first review.

Stand
24 E 12th Street
(between 5th Ave & University Pl)
New York, NY 10003
(212) 488-5900
www.standburger.com

Stand is a cute, casual, tad bit pricey burger joint. It’s somewhere you can go with your family for a good meal or hang out with your girls. My favorite part of the décor is actually the chalk paint in the bathroom! Imani and I left messages for those who might make the mistake of not trying the toasted marshmallow shake.

I had the mushroom beef burger, fries and onion rings. The mushroom burger was okay, but needed a little something. Maybe it’s that the onion marmalade wasn’t savory enough or it needed a little spice. I didn’t dare to put ketchup on this burger, I think that would have been disrespectful. The fries were okay, but the onion rings were great! I wanted to try the sweet potato fries, but how far can you push your diet in one day? Especially since I know what I came here for, the coup de grace. The Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake was everything I dreamt it would be. It was delish, not too sweet but it definitely tasted like marshmallow. I’m amazed at how creative some people are, I would have never thought of this shake. They had quite a few other interesting shakes like Ricotta Pistachio. If you are in the area or 50 blocks away I would definitely stop by.

Yummy Toasted Marshmallow Shake

Mushroom Beef Burger

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? (Write your first restaurant review?)

Smooches,

Keli

Daddy's Little Girl

I saw a friend of mines Facebook status this morning and it broke my heart. Today is her deceased Dad’s birthday. Unfortunately I know her pain very well.  My father passed away on December 4^th, 2009 and it was the most devastating and unexpected experience of my life. While we all know it’s the natural order of life for our parents to die before us I don’t think anything ever prepares us for this event.  I went from being a 34 year old woman to feeling like a 4 year old little girl. In my non-medical opinion I believe this is the reason for my 9 month ‘funk’ and my need for a new beginning.

I feel like I’ve been in a bubble since that day.  I see things happening around me, but I’m not really there. I have simply been existing, not living.  I think it’s hard to grieve for someone so close to you when you have small children. They need their Momma all the time, not some of the time.  Sure you may be distracted and not ‘thinking’ about the hole in your heart for most of the day, but during those quiet moments, when I’m getting dressed, washing the dishes, sitting at my desk or driving home from work; I cry. Not sometimes, but every day. And the weird thing is that you never know when it’s going to hit you. I can talk about my dad or see his picture on my desk at work and have a smile on my face or I can be in a doctors going over family history and not be able to speak.

My friends will ask me how I am doing every once in a while and I lie. I say I’m fine or brush them off, but the TRUTH is I’m heartbroken. I cry when I rock my baby to sleep every night after I say my prayers. He never got to meet my little girl and I know he would have loved her. He would have taken her to a secret park, popped her popcorn and let her splash water on the floor while she played in her little kitchen the same way he did with my oldest. It breaks my heart that she will never know the warmth of his hug, the smell of his hands or what it feels like to play in his hair.

If someone asks me tomorrow how I am doing, I will probably still say that I am fine.  But today is a new beginning and I will try to move forward and be the woman my Dad knows that I am.

So world, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Daddy’s Little Girl

Welcome

I never in a million years thought I’d be writing a blog. I’ve been toying with the idea for a while now, but kept thinking who wants to hear from me? Over the last few weeks I’ve gotten hooked on a few blogs that I’ve begun following and feel as if I’ve become ‘friends’ with some very inspiring women. Women, who seem to be able to juggle it all, chase their dreams and make lemonade out of lemons. These women who you would pass on the street and never know their challenges, talents and gifts have inspired me. To search for my true passion, to be who I’ve always wanted to be and to realize that life is a journey.


Sometimes you get off the train only to look around and think…hmpf “How did I get here?” Surely this wasn’t a stop I was supposed to make. So instead of waiting for the next train to come by at whatever time it’s supposed to get here. I will begin to walk until I see the train coming and then I will hop back on. While I walk I hope to find ways to be a better Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister and Friend.

I would be lying if I said this was all in the hopes to inspire others. I NEED this. I need a place to be able to say all the things I keep bottled up. A place to write down my feelings; talk about my good days and my bad days. My great moments and those…”Ummm can I have a do over?” moments.

So, if you want come along for the ride. As I share my dreams, my bucket list, my fears and my goals I hope that you will hold me accountable. After all once I put this out in the universe I have to try hard, right? I will be “borrowing” my husband’s email signature and try to tie this into my every day mantra.

So world, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Smooches,

Keli